HNY!

Last night I didn't go to church which is my normal practice. Instead I putzed around my home enjoying small victories. The greatest one being hanging the white board I bought yesterday while only putting 2 holes in the dry wall and using anchors/screws (which was the appropriate hardware to use) even though I didn't have a drill. I need a drill. Darn, my white board looks the bomb. It's level, too! (Can you tell how proud I am of myself?)

I said a prayer at midnight, missed my church a little and spoke to my sister for a while. I felt good. My house was clean, clothes washed, garbage out. It was a good way to start the new year. Happy with where I am in life. Happy with who I am. It made it easy to fall asleep.

This morning I woke up thinking about what kind of man I'd like to enter my life. I know...kinda strange. You would think that I would have woken up thinking more about being 40 in a week and two days. Lol. In the last six months, I have had so much angst about my impending birthday that I was verklempt continually (yes, I am slowly turning into an old Jewish woman). I thought I had to change everything in my life. Come to find out I really only had to change one thing to have some peace. I am thankful that I figured out what that one thing was and that I had the courage to take that step. It's left me thinking a lot about freedom and change, love and choices, responsibility and happiness, especially yesterday. And subconsciously, apparently, I've been thinking about what kind of man I'd like to be with.

So I made a list of this man in my journal and it's been on my mind ever since. The list is short and not in order of importance.

1. Someone who sees me for myself, my good, bad and ugly, and loves me anyway.
2. Someone who has my back and will go to war for me.
3. Someone who loves me as fiercely as I love him.
4. Someone who is secure in himself and lives authentically.
5. Someone who loves God and is a man after God's own heart.

I'm a good woman. And everything I want, I realize, I am fully prepared to give. After all, isn't that how it works?

It's amazing how different this list is from any list I have ever made before about this sort of stuff. I am sure there are things I could add. But in so many ways, this list covers it all. Now I pray that not only do I recognize him when he comes, but that I'm open to him, too.


I pray you see beauty, practice gratefulness, and experience the goodness of life in this new year. Happy New Year! Amen.