debt. a true confession.

So every year I make grand statements about what I'm going to work on for the new year. Not quite resolutions, but definitely grand statements. Usually, I take on 3 or 4 things...my weight, my money, etc. I've finally come to realize that this approach does not work for me. Apparently, I can't do more than one thing at once.

So trying this new method of only tackling one thing at once, in 2013 I've decided to concentrate my efforts on reducing my debt, specifically my credit card debt. I'd like to adopt a baby in a few years and I realize that raising a child will take a lot of dough that I don't have right now. And it won't happen if I don't make some changes right now. And while my credit card debt is really just the tip of the iceberg, which makes me incredibly sad, it's a good starting place.

So last night I put on my brave face and faced my credit card debt. Usually, when I pay my bills, I try really hard not to look at the balances. They are so scary! But I barreled through, and wrote each balance down in an excel sheet and summed them. Needless to say, I am incredibly ashamed of the summed number. I am even more ashamed of the financial situation I've allowed myself to get in to. I know better, but I love to use the excuse that I'm not good with money. I realize it's a lie that I've let myself believe because it's easier than taking control of my finances.

So I've taken the first step. It's a little bit easier because I have a friend I'll be doing this with. And confessing some of my financial sins, the actions that I don't want to own and don't want anyone else to know about, will be cathartic, help me stay on track, and hopefully, release me from some of the shame.

I've taken all of my credit cards out of my purse. I was going to allow myself to buy a computer on credit this year, but realized I would be better off buying one in cash later this year. I'll just have to live with the resources I have and that will be okay. I'll live even though I feel like I won't. I want to pay my house and get new furniture for the living room. I may not do this in case, but I'm sure I'll be able to find an interest free deal for at least a year which is an acceptable way to buy furniture.

The first thing I'm paying off is actually my car. I'm almost done and should be making my last payment this month but because of some financial mismanagement on my part, I'm not unless I bite the bullet and pay the larger sum. I just might. There will very little money left for the month after that but it will make me feel so good, like I've accomplished something, that it may be worth it. Happy Birthday to me! And it will open up more money to tackle something else next month.

The next think to work on is getting myself on a budget. I don't even know what that is. I tend to work with  the money I have but don't force myself to monitor my spending, especially on eating out. I've already banned myself from Starbucks but there are so many things to spend my money on! I'm using a partitioned file folder for each month's receipts and am going to force myself to total them every month and then make changes accordingly.

So I welcome your suggestions for doing this as I have no idea what I'm doing. I know that there are plenty of books out there to  help me, so I'll take those recommendations to. But I have no idea which ones are good and which ones are not.  I've decided to view this as a courageous first step. What have you decided to face this year?


I pray you see beauty, practice gratefulness, and experience the goodness of life in this new year. Amen.