SPOILER ALERT :: SPOILER ALERT :: SPOILER ALERT :: SPOILER ALERT
So if you have not watched Breaking Bad on AMC, I feel a little sad for you. I mean, talk about good television! I'm not their spokesperson (although I could be) but I basically watched 4 years of the show in about two weeks. It's that good (or I'm a little obsessive....or both!). You can watch the first four seasons on Netflix. The second half of season 5 doesn't air until Summer 2013. I'm a little depressed.
I've also learned some useful and important life lessons from this show. I could easily make a list of like 50 things, if not more, that I've learned. But I won't do that to you since I think you should watch the show despite the spoilers. Therefore, I'm limiting my list to 10 of the biggest lessons. If you're a fan...feel free to add your own life lessons to this list.
1. Do not lie to your wife. I mean you can and you probably will. But when she figures out you've lied, you are in BIG trouble. She will no longer want to have sex with you AND throw you out of the house. She will think you're having an affair. Somehow, the fact that you're really cooking meth and not cheating on her will not make her any less mad. Go figure.
2. Walts are bad news. If you meet a guy named Walt, run, do not walk, in the other direction. He will eventually kill you.
3. Do not sell drugs. Or sell them, just don't get involved with any men named Tuco who are crazy. Also, don't sell on someone else's corner. And if a little kid keeps circling you with his bike on said corner, it is very likely that he is going to shoot you dead. Ijs...
4. A radiologist's job is really not that simple. Say, for instance, you have cancer and you determine from looking at the scan (MRI or Cat or whatever) that you just took that your cancer has spread and you are dying. You are very likely reading the scan incorrectly as you are not a radiologist. In fact, you are probably getting better and have put yourself through a lot of nonsense for no apparent reason. Leave the doctoring to the doctors!
5. Don't let your wife hide your drug money. She will give it to her ex-lover, who is also her former boss, to pay his tax bill. He will use some of that money to lease a luxury car and NOT pay his taxes.
6. You can make up your own moniker. I know that usually the rule is you can't give yourself your own nickname but if you're a drug dealer you totally can!!! I mean, you need a fake name to operate under, after all. Just don't choose Heisenberg, it's already taken.
7. If you attend Narcotics Anonymous, you should be fully invested. You really can't half-step a 12-step program and you certainly shouldn't try to sell meth there. The crowd is surprisingly resistant to buying said drugs.
8. Meth heads are crazy and may kill you by accident if they're mad at you for calling them names. If you're in the company of a meth head while you happen to be trying to open an ATM machine with a blowtorch from underneath at the same time you're calling said meth head names, be careful they don't kick the contraption that has the ATM machine jacked up. This will crush your head and kill you. Just a precautionary tale!
9. Do not pretend you don't have a second cell phone. This is part of the don't lie to your wife thing. Cause then you'll end up having major surgery and as the anesthesia kicks in, you will cop to the lie leaving your wife furious and super suspicious which ultimately leads her to find out you ARE a drug dealer which is what having the second cell phone was supposed to avoid!
10. If someone gives you a list of people to kill, you should do it. If you don't, they will undoubtedly add you to the list and get some other person on the list to do the killing. Of course, you will end up killing the hired assassin AND possibly killing the person who came up with the list as well.
...and one more for good measure...
11. Jesses are good people. He may appear a bad seed but he's really just looking for love in all the wrong places. So if you meet a Jesse, you should totally be his friend.
P.S. If you sell drugs, do not use your product. I didn't list this one because, one, it seems too obvious and, two, I've learned that from a lot of shows...The Wire, Weeds, The Cleaner, Sons of Anarchy, etc.
Always remember Jesus loves you...doesn't matter who you are (even a drug dealer or cook or mule or meth head), what you've done, or what your issues are. I'm living proof.
No comments:
Post a Comment